


Lessons

by elusivelover_archivist



Category: Star Wars Original Trilogy
Genre: Doubt, First Time, Friendship, M/M, Unrequited Love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-09
Updated: 2018-12-09
Packaged: 2019-09-20 08:26:18
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,689
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17019198
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/elusivelover_archivist/pseuds/elusivelover_archivist
Summary: By GwendolenSometimes a teacher can learn the most important lesson from his student...





	Lessons

**Author's Note:**

> Note from Cara Loup, the archivist: this story was originally archived at [Elusive Lover](https://fanlore.org/wiki/Elusive_Lover_\(Star_Wars_archive\)) and was moved to the AO3 as part of the Open Doors project in 2018. I tried to reach out to all creators about the move and posted announcements, but may not have reached everyone. If you are the creator and would like to claim this work, please contact me using the e-mail address on [Elusive Lover’s collection profile](https://archiveofourown.org/collections/ElusiveLover).

**The First Lesson**

After the destruction of the Death Star the war continued, and the Alliance was forced to find a new hideout. Eventually, the Rebels settled on a planet in the Hynonian system where basic tracking and communication equipment had already been installed. All the Rebel groups had to do to make use of that advantage was modify the outdated equipment and run efficiency tests. Since there wasn’t much else for them to do, most of the Rebel pilots were drafted to help with the installation and maintenance of the widely scattered technical plants and bases.

For that reason, Luke Skywalker found himself standing on the shore of the northern Hynonian ocean, wondering, as he gazed out across the moving waters, whether he liked the sea or not.

They had been sent to a remote spot on the main continent, to activate and check the local installations needed for planetary surveillance. Those initial test runs weren’t going to take more than a day, but they were supposed to stay on for another week at least to make sure everything was working properly.

Luke frowned as he stared at the ocean, amazed, because he’d never seen such an abundance of water before. However, the constant motion of waves rolling back and forth was slightly nauseating and made him uncomfortable.

"Wonderful, isn’t it?"

He looked up when Han approached to stand by his side and flung an arm across his shoulders. Luke only grunted noncommittally. For a while they both stood there, watching the sea.

"Reminds me of home," Han said suddenly.

Surprised, Luke threw him a quizzical glance. Up ‘til now, the former pirate had never shown an inclination to consider any place his home except his ship, the Millennium Falcon. Luke knew Han was born on Corellia – which summed up all the information he had about Han’s background. The other man rarely talked about his past.

"Corellia’s got oceans a lot like this, but they’re much too polluted to swim in them," Han explained. "A real shame. Had to make do with the public swimming pools." He sounded almost wistful but then flashed a brilliant smile at Luke. "But here the water should be warm and clean enough. So – how about it, kid? Let’s go swimming."

"Swimming?" Luke echoed incredulously. He glanced back at the water and decided he didn’t like that idea very much.

"Yeah, swimming." Han’s voice dropped to a husky growl as he leaned closer. "I’ll teach ya."

Warm breath brushed across Luke’s ear, raising the hair at the nape of his neck. His mind was racing while he tried to figure out what exactly the Corellian was proposing. That Han had decided to stay with the Alliance after he’d paid his debts to Jabba the Hutt had surprised Luke, and Han’s reasons to return from his inevitable visit to Jabba escaped him.

Initially, Luke had taken Han’s obvious attraction to Princess Leia to be the reason, but she was away on hazardous missions most of the time, and so far Han hadn’t been very successful with her. Instead, he spent most of his time fiddling with the Falcon, lazing about or keeping Luke company with inexhaustible and outrageous tales about his travels that made Luke laugh. He enjoyed the older man’s company, reveled in all the attention he received, and lately, his nights had been filled with disturbing dreams in which Han’s attention acquired a more intimate and personal nature. Dreams that left Luke confused and yearning for something he didn’t fully understand. When he’d found out that Han had volunteered to join him for the maintenance job on the coast, the butterflies that seemed to live in his stomach had gone sheer crazy.

And now Han was shifting closer, his hard chest pressing against Luke’s back, his breath warm against the side of Luke’s face and his lips almost touching Luke’s ear.

"I’ll teach ya anything you want, Luke." The sound of his deep voice added suggestions beyond the obvious promise, and Luke didn’t know how to react, what to say. His mouth went dry.

"Luke?" This time Han’s lips did brush his ear, with the lightest of touches, and Luke felt goosebumps crawl down his spine.

He turned in the loose embrace, looked at Han and opened his mouth but still couldn’t utter a single word. For a second that seemed to expand infinitely, Han only gazed back at him. Then he smiled briefly, with almost hesitant gentleness. "Ah, kid..." And with that he leaned down to kiss Luke on the mouth.

Baffled, Luke didn’t respond immediately, but when Han began to withdraw, he clasped his arms around the older man and kissed him back. And when Han’s lips parted, tongue tracing Luke’s lips, he opened his mouth to allow the questing tongue access.

The kiss became a very thorough exploration, passionate and wild, sweet and tender at the same time. Luke felt Han’s hands move over his back down to his buttocks which the Corellian clasped and rubbed gently. Moaning, Luke pressed closer, arousal coursing through his body, making his knees weak.

Han’s lips moved across his jaw and up to his ear. "Hmm – kid, you’re gorgeous," he murmured in that husky voice, kissing Luke softly. "How about moving to a more comfortable place?"

"Huh?"

"Yeah, despite all the holonovels try to make us believe, the beach isn’t that romantic a place. I prefer a nice bed anytime."

Luke felt himself blush as he realized what Han was suggesting. Han wanted to make love to him. His breath caught in his throat as the thought struck home with full impact. Did he want to make love to Han? He’d fantasized about it but, confronted with the prospect of his fantasies becoming real, he suddenly felt insecure.

Han seemed to guess many of his confused thoughts and sentiments. With a reassuring smile, he took Luke’s face between both hands. "Hey, don’t be afraid, Luke. I’m not gonna hurt you and we’ll do this at your pace, okay?"

Still speechless, Luke nodded and let Han steer him toward the squat building that housed both the tracking installation and their sleeping quarters.

 

A plain, small building, the old station was situated up the beach, its main chamber taken up by the bulk of equipment and control units. With two small bedrooms, a joined bath and a lounge including a kitchenette, it offered enough space to stay there comfortably for some time. Luke liked it despite the constant, sometimes disturbing sounds of the sea, enjoying the privacy and quiet so unlike the crowded pilots’ dormitories of the main base.

On the doorstep, he hesitated again and felt Solo’s arm tighten around his shoulders. "Second thoughts, Luke?" Han’s voice held a playful challenge.

Luke returned an annoyed glance, but his instinctive irritation faltered again fast, and he smiled tentatively. "I..." He swallowed and breathed in deeply. "I want you, Han... but–" He shrugged, sure that Han realized he was woefully inexperienced. The other man raised a hand to caress Luke’s cheek gently.

"We’ll take our time, okay? No need to rush things." Han lowered his head, let his lips brush Luke’s mouth persuasively. Demanding more, Luke leaned into him, but Han only chuckled and pulled him along in the direction of his bedroom.

The station’s sleeping quarters were each furnished with a bunk and a small chest of drawers to accommodate the needs of temporary residents.

The moment they entered the small room, Han pulled Luke into another deep, hungry kiss that left the younger man breathless and shaken while Han began tugging at his tunic.

Although Luke still felt shy and nervous, he started to undress Han in turn, fumbling with the clasp of his belt, then helping him with his knee-high boots. Han grimaced at the clumsiness of removing them, his expression making Luke laugh. Amusement took a lot of his tension with it, and immediately, Luke felt much better. He collapsed on the bed giggling and when Han leaned over him menacingly, gave another soft laugh.

"Are you laughing at me?" Han asked in a silken voice.

Luke shook his head mutely but failed to get a grip on himself. Han’s mock-glare dissolved into a grin as he grabbed him. Expecting the worst, Luke sought to wriggle free, and when Han began to tickle his sides, tried to fend him off – unsuccessfully, because Han’s fingers seemed to be everywhere and made him laugh even harder. Realizing that his only chance of escape lay in creating an effective diversion, Luke kissed the Corellian. Amazingly, his maneuver succeeded at once, and Han returned the kiss demandingly.

Soon they were locked in a tight embrace, exchanging deep, fervent kisses. Luke felt as if his whole body had been set afire and with every caress Han gave him, the sensations intensified. Pressing closer, he rubbed his groin against the hard body, hunting for release. He’d reached the edge when at the very last moment Han held him off.

"Calm down, kid," he said with a small grin. "We can take our time."

Luke groaned, desperate, but slowly managed to control his hard breaths, and the intense arousal ebbed a little. Watching him, Han finally nodded before he kissed him again, gently, playfully this time. "Much better... now we can draw it out and enjoy this some more," he murmured.

The movements of Han’s lips against his own sent shivers down Luke’s back. He arched when Han began kissing and nipping his way across his chest, moaning deeply when the Corellian teased his nipples with lips and teeth. Nobody had ever done this to him, and it felt incredible. Han slowly inched lower but when Luke stirred, moved to reciprocate, firm hands stopped him. "This one’s for you, Luke."

Out of breath, Luke nodded and moaned again the next instant, startled by the sensation of Han’s tongue teasing his navel. A groan of frustration escaped him when Han ignored his erection and scattered small kisses along the sensitive insides of his thighs instead. Luke reached down to bury his hands in the shaggy brown hair, trying to urge Han on, but the Corellian resisted his coaxing and chuckled devilishly.

"So eager for it?" he asked.

Luke bucked his hips up. "Damn you, Han," he gasped.

Finally relenting, the older, more experienced man leaned down to take him in his mouth. Luke gasped, tensing with shock. None of the girls he’d been with had ever done this to him, and the sensations were excruciating. It was over much too quickly. Lips gliding along the length of him, Han only had to take him deep into his mouth once or twice before Luke came. He stiffened and collapsed back on the bed with ragged moan.

When he’d finally managed to get his breath back, he found Han watching him and returned a shaky smile. Drawing the Corellian down for a deep kiss, tasting himself in the other man’s mouth, Luke felt the hard erection press into him and belatedly realized Han was still aroused. He grinned at the Corellian.

"My turn?"

Han eased back on the bed with a crooked smile. "Yeah. Feel free to explore."

And Luke did just that, taking his time for a very thorough discovery of Han’s most sensitive spots until he had him almost begging for release. 

 

**The Second Lesson**

Luke watched the columns of figures displayed on the monitor, wrinkled his nose and after another moment nodded, satisfied with the test’s results. He reached for his comlink and activated it. "It checks out, Han," he told the Corellian who’d gone outside to readjust a malfunctioning sensor array. Luke continued to watch the displays until he’d made sure that everything worked flawlessly. At the sound of approaching footsteps, he raised his head to smile at Han.

The Corellian threw himself into the other chair and scowled. "I’m looking forward to getting back to the base, you know," he growled, his expression sullen and dark.

Very much aware that Solo wasn’t particularly fond of maintenance duty, Luke wondered once again why exactly he’d agreed to join him on the assignment. He’d inquired cautiously, but Han would either avoid his questions or try to distract his attention.

"Oh yeah?" Luke asked and smiled at the older man, using a mixture of feigned hurt, innocence, and seduction to lift Han’s dark mood. He knew he’d succeeded when a sudden grin dispelled the glum expression, and Han levered himself out of the chair.

"Well," he drawled, "there’s a few things that make this job quite agreeable." With that, he leaned down and kissed Luke on the mouth, tongue teasing his parted lips.

"Like what?" Luke asked breathlessly.

"You’ll see." Again, they kissed, passionately this time. "Let’s go to bed, kid," Han murmured.

Ready enough to comply, Luke let himself be pulled from his seat and followed Han to the bedroom they’d shared during the past nine days. It was going to be their last night in the privacy of the isolated station, and Luke intended to enjoy those remaining hours to the fullest.

Apart from busying themselves with the antiquated equipment, diagnosing malfunctions and executing repairs, they’d spent most of their time on the beach, and Han had even tried to teach him how to swim like he’d promised. Privately, Luke decided he enjoyed Han’s other lessons much more though, and the nights, sometimes even the mornings or afternoons were spent making love – lazy and gentle, or wild and passionate. Han had proven to be a considerate and very thorough teacher, though there remained one thing they hadn’t done, and tonight Luke felt ready for it. Even if Han had never pressed him, allowing Luke to set his own pace, it was obvious what he wanted the most.

Inside the bedroom, they dumped their clothes unceremoniously and then stopped to look at each other. Sometimes Luke thought he’d never get enough of gazing at Han. The Corellian was just too beautiful – tall and long-limbed, a slight coating of auburn curls at his chest and groin. He could see the nicely shaped cock slowly filling with blood, lifting.

A deep blush warmed his cheeks as Luke realized that Han was watching him with one of his crooked smiles, amusement equally apparent in his brown eyes. Even after one week of unabashed lovemaking, Luke’s farmboy upbringing still showed, and openly admiring another man’s naked body went against everything he’d been taught. It was wanton. Sinful. A whore would stare shamelessly like that.

But when Han’s hands closed around his face and a gentle mouth took his, Luke forgot every doubt. There couldn’t be anything wrong or sinful about something so enchanting. He pressed into the hard body molding against him, deepened the kiss until they dropped down on the bed in a tangle.

Luke pushed Han back on the mattress and straddled the lean hips. His hands moved across the heaving chest in slow circles, brushing the dark nipples again and again, and felt them harden slowly to his teasing touch. Han watched him from under knotted eyebrows, trying to glare but spoiling the effect with the amused glimmer in his brown eyes.

Luke bent down to kiss the tempting lips, exploring slowly and very thoroughly, until Han moaned into his mouth. "Like that, don’t ya?" he whispered, before kissing the strong chin.

Han growled low in his throat and wrapped his arms around Luke, tugging him closer until the younger man was stretched out on top of him. Luke shivered when strong, calloused hands ran down his back to stroke his buttocks. Excitement flared in him, he was hard by now, and Han’s equally aroused state only increased the sensations. Luke undulated slowly, rubbing against the hard body, feeling their erections brush against each other. Han kneaded his buttocks in a matching rhythm, urging him closer.

"Do it, Han" Luke said in a hoarse voice and kissed the scar on Han’s chin. All movement ceased, and he lifted his head to meet startled dark eyes.

"Luke?" Han sounded genuinely surprised and a bit uncertain. "Are you sure?"

Luke pushed up to search his lover’s eyes. "I want it, Han," he told him firmly. "I want you to..." – he grimaced briefly, uncomfortable with the word. "I want you to fuck me," he finally managed, his voice dropping a bit at the end. Han studied him closely for a moment, then nodded.

"We need something," he murmured and kissed the tip of Luke’s nose before easing him back on the bed.

Slightly puzzled, Luke watched Han rise and disappear into the tiny bathroom.

After some rummaging, Han returned holding a small tube. Again, Luke admired the sight of his naked and quite obviously aroused lover, and when Han bent over him, pulled him back to the bed and into another deep kiss, then reached for the tube. "What’s that for?" Curious, Luke turned the tube over in his hands and looked up when he heard Han’s low chuckle.

"I’m not gonna hurt you any more than I can help, kid," the Corellian told him in a low, husky voice.

"Oh." Luke felt himself blush hotly, embarrassment deepening as Han chuckled again.

"Come here, kid." He was clasped to the hard, warm body, lost himself to the wild kisses before Han pushed him back on the bed, began stroking and teasing him with knowledgeable hands. During the last days they’d both started to learn what pleased and aroused the other. Soon enough, Luke was writhing under his lover’s expert touch, tense and ready when Han motioned him to turn over. Sprawling on his stomach, Luke felt the weight of the other man on his back. Han nuzzled his neck, soft lips wandering upward until they grazed his ear. "Still sure?"

At the pressure of Han’s erection against his ass, gliding along the crease, Luke felt a momentary touch of panic, but then he nodded. "Yeah, I’m sure. Go on."

Han kissed his ear, nipped at the lobe gently. "Tell me when I hurt you and I’ll try to stop, okay?"

Luke nodded again and wriggled slightly. He gasped as sharp teeth nipped his neck, and next a warm tongue soothed the spot, then began to trail downward. Each bump of his spine was kissed, and he splayed his thighs wide, the feel of supple hands rubbing his buttocks making him shiver in anticipation. And then a finger moved between the cheeks, seeking the core of him, slowly pushing against the tight muscle. He concentrated on relaxing, and the finger made its way inward, massaging gently, relaxing him further. The feeling was strange but not exactly unpleasant, and Luke’s tension eased gradually under the gentle touch, trusting Han.

"Okay?" Han’s voice had dropped to a whisper, and the sound made his skin crawl.

He nodded. "Hmm, yeah..."

Han moved into position behind him, hips lifting, then pressing down as he started to penetrate slowly. There was pain, though strangely Luke couldn’t decide if it really hurt or not, and then sharp teeth fastened on his shoulder, diverting his mind. Finally Han was all the way inside him. Working a hand under his body, he reached around to caress Luke’s chest. Luke pushed up, the lean fingers that lightly teased and pinched his nipples making him moan. The hand moved down to curl around his erection, stroking insistently. Han began to move inside him, and the stroking hand picked up the same rhythm. Luke clutched at the bedcovers, needing to touch something, anything. Every trace of pain had melted away, leaving only pleasure, and it felt too good.

In response to Han’s faster pace Luke lifted his hips, meeting the firm strokes with thrusts of his own. Han gave a last, powerful thrust and erupted inside him while the fondling hand drove Luke over the edge with him. The universe seemed to explode into a vortex of whirling colors.

Panting heavily, they collapsed on the bed. Dazed with the feel of Han inside him, Luke groaned when the Corellian withdrew to roll over, sprawling on his back. Slowly, Luke turned around to look at his lover – the sweat-drenched brown hair, the closed eyes and the satiated smile. Han’s eyes fluttered open lazily and their gazes locked.

"You okay, kid?" Han asked, still slightly breathless.

Speechless, Luke nodded and when Han opened his arms, shifted closer with a smile, burrowing into the older man’s embrace. Snuggling close, he breathed in the unique mixture of sex, sweat, and Han. He clung to the taller man while strong hands slid down his back, soothing, reassuring, lulling him. Drowsy and very happy, Luke kissed Han’s shoulder and tried to meet his eyes without moving from his side.

"Han?" he murmured.

The other man’s hands continued their lazy wandering, caressed him absently. "Hmm?"

"I love you," Luke whispered and cuddled closer.

Nothing had prepared him for the Corellian’s reaction. Han tensed and his hands stilled instantly. Startled, Luke sat up to search the other man’s expression.

"There ain’t no such thing, Luke," Han told him seriously, his voice abruptly cold. "What we had was great sex. Sure, we’ve shared some good times – we’re friends – but that’s got nothing to do with love."

Wide-eyed, Luke stared at him, didn’t know what to think or say. An odd numbness crept up inside him making him feel icy cold and sick. He’d believed they shared something special, but obviously he’d been wrong. Han had simply used him for his own pleasure. Anguished, Luke wondered how he could have been so stupid, so blind. Everyone who still considered him a naive farmboy from Tatooine was right! He’d really thought that Han loved him, or at least felt something more than just friendship, but he’d fooled himself. He should have seen it coming.

"I... I understand," he finally managed. Amazed at his own self-control, Luke got up and collected his clothes.

"Look, kid–" Han began, then sighed in exasperation. "C’mon Luke, no reason to run out on me, right? We’re still friends, huh?"

Infuriated from one moment to the next, Luke snarled: "Friends, Han? Isn’t friendship just another form of love? Sex and friendship are okay, but love isn’t? Or don’t you care about your friends? About Chewie? About me?"

"‘Course I care." Han sounded baffled and slightly annoyed, but Luke had heard enough. He grabbed his boots and stormed out, heading for the other bedroom. A room he hadn’t used during the last days.

Suddenly, he felt very lonely and wished his aunt Beru were still alive so that he could go to her, bury his head in her lap and cry like he had as a child. But she was dead and he wasn’t a little boy anymore, he was just naive, very obviously in need to finally grow up.

 

**The Third Lesson**

Luke looked up into the sparkling grey eyes of his companion and laughed. Leaning back against the wall behind the bench, he let his gaze travel around the crowded mess hall, then back to his companions, seated on either side of him.

He’d met Tomas Kevanni, one of the Rebel pilots, and Aahna Tavan, a maintenance technician, shortly after his return from the station on the coast of the Hynonian ocean. Still hurting from Han’s rejection, he’d been very wary about befriending those two at first, but gradually relaxed his guard. Which was easy enough, since both his new friends were fun to be with, quick at repartee, cheering him with their jibes and outrageous anecdotes.

Both were very attractive – tall, with dark, almost black hair, pale skin and grey eyes. Yet although the resemblance between them was striking, they weren’t related. Luke wasn’t sure about the exact nature of their relationship either. Were they lovers? Were they just friends? All he knew was that both showed a rather obvious interest in him.

Luke responded to their advances with mixed feelings. Flattering as they were, their attentions made him nervous and left him wondering, unsure what to think.

Leaning forward, Tomas placed a hand on Luke’s shoulder. "Are you sure you won’t join us?"

Luke hesitated and looked at Aahna who smiled and gave a nod, enthusiastic and encouraging at the same time. They’d invited him to join a private get-together with some of the pilots and techs, but he suspected their plans for the night included more than sharing friendly chats and a few drinks.

Luke supposed that everyone else would have considered such an offer from the pair of them most tempting, but he was still struggling to get over his feelings for Han and had discovered that casual sex held no particular fascination for him. He wanted more than that. And right now, he didn’t feel up to another involvement anyway, no matter what kind.

"Hey Luke, you still with us?" Soft fingers touched his cheek.

Startled, he looked up at his companions. "Uh, sure."

"So, are you coming tonight? I’m sure we’ll have a ball." A conspiratorial smile was traded between Tomas and Aahna, indicating a promise, and a secret they shared.

His mind made up, Luke finally shook his head. "No, I don’t think so." Reading disappointment on both faces, he smiled apologetically. "I’m sorry, but I really need to be alone tonight."

"Very well," Aahna said and rose, Tomas following suit. Luke felt a touch of anxiety, afraid that he’d hurt Aahna’s feelings, but then she turned back, humor flashing in her eyes. "But don’t fool yourself thinking we’re gonna give up that soon!" she added, her smile mischievous and teasing.

When the two of them had turned into one of the corridors with a parting wave for him, Luke rose and wandered off into the opposite direction.

 

Completely lost to his thoughts, he didn’t notice the other man until they almost collided, and when he looked up, surprised, he gazed directly into brown-golden eyes. His heart gave a lurch, and he blushed, unable to check his reaction.

Han didn’t seem to notice, however. While normally he would have teased Luke, his face remained cold, set into hard lines, almost mask-like, and Luke could see the muscles twitch in his jaw – a sign of great agitation in the Corellian. But although he could easily read Han’s anger and knew the other man was barely checking his temper, Luke had no idea why.

With an effort, he produced a polite smile. "Hey Han. How are you?" The question sounded more than a bit lame, but he simply didn’t know how to talk to his former lover – though maybe he should begin to think of Han as former sex partner, since there’d never been any love involved on Han’s part.

The taller man inclined his head slightly. "I see you’re making good use of what I taught you," he almost snarled, and Luke came close to flinching at the sound of Han’s angry, even vicious tone that seemed totally out of character.

Forcing his own irritation down, Luke glared at Han and chose a deliberately cold tone when he answered. "Sure. After all, I had a good teacher. Take whatever you can get – right, Han? Live for the moment."

When he received no reply, he brushed past the other man and started down the corridor. Only after a while did he stop to rest his forehead against the cool wall in an attempt to slow his breathing and get his emotions back under control.

Damn Han! Luke had never imagined that he could be so openly hostile, so cruel. During the last weeks, he’d shunned all private encounters with the Corellian, making sure to meet him only in the presence of others. Luke increasingly wondered if it was such a bright idea to try and still be friends with Han. He’d hoped that after a while they could resume the easy companionship they’d shared earlier, but obviously Han wasn’t interested at all. What then did he want? Why should he be angered when somebody else showed an interest in Luke, or when he fancied somebody in turn?

"Luke? Are you okay?"

Turning at the sound of a concerned female voice, Luke found himself face to face with Aahna. She smiled a little nervously. "I forgot to give you the data tape with the results of your X-wing’s check-up." She tapped her data pad. "Didn’t mean to spy on you – I just overheard that conversation." Aahna shrugged and glanced down, obviously embarrassed.

Luke offered a strained smile. "It’s okay," he reassured her, and she brightened instantly.

"Are you going to tell me what that was all about?" she asked.

After a moment’s hesitation, Luke shook his head and lowered his gaze uncomfortably. A hand on his chin coaxed his head back up, and Aahna gently slid a thumb across his lower lip.

"He isn’t worth it, you know. The likes of him..." Aahna trailed off and shrugged again, the meaning of what she hadn’t put into words clear on her face.

His anger flared once more. Struggling for control, Luke shook his head vehemently. "He’s a good friend."

"Indeed?" she snorted. "A _friend_ wouldn’t treat you like that. You deserve better." Her smile turned seductive. "Are you sure about tonight?" When Luke nodded, she lifted her shoulders in theatrical disappointment and sighed expressively. "Ah, well. Another time?"

Luke forced himself to smile back at her. "Yeah, sure. Another time." He took the data tape from her hands and nodded in parting when she turned and walked down the corridor. Still surprised that Aahna wasn’t impressed with Han in the least, he gazed after her. It was all becoming more and more confusing and irritating. The only one he wanted didn’t return those feelings, and while there were others who obviously wanted him, he found himself unable to reciprocate. A real emotional tangle that left him without any clues about how to get out of it.

"Luke? What’s going on?"

For the second time, somebody had crept up on him, a familiar voice startling him from confused thoughts. Luke spun and for a second only stared at the slight figure in front of him, irritation fading again fast. It would be unfair to take his frustration out on Leia – all the more so when her expression spelled nothing but concern.

"It’s... Han." He lifted a shoulder in a half-hearted shrug, then shook his head to stare at his feet.

"What about him?"

For some time, Luke tried to figure out what to tell her, how to explain what was bothering him, but it was all so complex that eventually he resolved it was better to say nothing, hoping Leia would understand.

"Luke?"

Looking up, he met the sympathetic brown eyes and shrugged, tried to smile reassuringly. He could tell Leia was worried. Since the battle of Yavin and the destruction of the Death Star, a solid bond of friendship had developed between them. Luke still considered Leia the most beautiful woman he’d ever met, but when his feelings for Han took an unforeseen turn, had stopped indulging romantic notions about the Princess. A sisterly friend was all he saw in her now. In spite of all the differences between their social position and upbringing, Leia always found time for him. And unlike Han, she didn’t treat him like a child.

Resolutely, Leia caught his arm and pulled him along with her. "Come on," she said. "The corridor isn’t the right place to talk."

Reluctant but unresisting, Luke followed her into one of the small lounges and sat down when she urged him into one of the low chairs. He smiled gratefully when Leia handed him a cup with hot tea and seated herself opposite him.

"Okay, so what is it with Han?" she inquired.

"How much did you see?" he asked back.

"About everything. I followed you when you left the mess hall – because I wanted to talk to you and couldn’t help noticing."

Luke frowned, taking in what she’d said, considering what he should or shouldn’t tell her. He dragged his hands through his hair. "I don’t know, Leia. It’s just all so confusing."

Leia’s gaze was pensive as she studied him closely. "You’re in love with him, aren’t you?" she asked quietly.

Shocked, Luke stared at her for a second, then gave a resigned nod. "That obvious, is it?"

Considering briefly, Leia shook her head. "Well, you two were always close, constantly around each other. It was even hard to find one of you without the other. That made me think. And you always seemed to glow when you were looking at Han." A teasing smile lit Leia’s face, then she became serious again. "But something changed, didn’t it? Something happened while you were alone out there at that technical station. You’ve tried avoiding Han and being alone with him ever since... and just looked so hurt."

Luke snorted uneasily, but when Leia leaned across to caress his cheek, relaxed again.

"What did he do to you, Luke?" she asked softly.

"You mean what did I do to myself?" Luke corrected her tiredly. "I was stupid enough to fall in love with him – and tell him as much."

"There’s nothing stupid about being in love," Leia admonished him.

"There is – when a Corellian pirate who happens not to believe in love is involved," Luke replied in a bitter tone. "All it meant to him was casual sex."

"Are you so sure about that?" Leia inquired, cocking her head. "I’ve watched him tonight, you know, while you were talking to your new friends. I’m glad you’re finally making friends, but – to be honest, I couldn’t help wondering if you’re doing that on purpose. Flirting to get Han jealous."

"Jealous? Han?" The idea had never occurred to Luke. "I don’t think Han is even able to feel something like jealousy."

"Oh, that he is, believe me. That much was plain for everyone tonight. You should’ve seen him." Leia drew her fine eyebrows together. "Though I wonder if he’s jealous just because you stopped spending so much time with him, admiring him, looking up to him? Or is there more to it?"

Luke gave a dry laugh. "If there’s anything in what you say, then Han probably misses the admiration." He failed to keep the bitter note out of his voice. "He told me loud and clear. There’s no such thing as love."

"I don’t know," Leia said thoughtfully. "In Han’s circles, you can’t afford feelings – love in particular. They’re a weakness, something that can be used against you. Which makes it easy to see why Han would rather deny his emotions, but that doesn’t mean he doesn’t have them, doesn’t feel anything for you." She hesitated, then added, "Did you notice he’s been watching you? I’ve caught him staring several times."

Luke shook his head, refusing to even consider that she might have a point. "What about you, Leia?" he asked instead, thinking of Han’s attempts to flirt with her.

Clearly astonished, Leia met his eyes. "You mean – me and Han? I’ve got to admit that his flattery was, well... flattering but–" She shrugged dismissively. "I don’t have time for a serious commitment and I guess I’m just not very interested at the moment. Even if I was, Han isn’t a likely candidate, charming as he can be occasionally." She sighed. "What are you going to do now?"

Luke only looked at her. "Nothing. He made his position perfectly clear, and I’ve got to accept that."

Leia shook her head. "I still think you’re wrong. There’s more than he’s willing to admit. His actions betray him."

Though her reasoning was sound enough, Luke hesitated to admit she might be right – wanting to believe what Leia suggested and wanting to forget all about it at the same time. Believing her would give him new hope, but he was equally afraid of getting hurt again. What if Leia was wrong?

"Ah, Luke." She smiled and drew him into a tight embrace. "Don’t give up. And don’t forget you’re still young. There’s always hope."

"Is that supposed to help?" he asked miserably and grimaced when she returned only a warm smile.

 

After he’d tossed on his bed for hours, Luke finally gave up any attempt of sleeping and got up. He stepped under the shower and tried to wash this night, broken by constant dreams, away. Although he wasn’t tired, a feeling of heaviness lingered with a dull pain in his head, directly above his eyebrows. He stared at his image in the mirror, and a pale face looked back at him with dark smudges under bleary eyes. He had to admit to himself that he looked like he’d spent the night partying. Combing his fingers through his hair, Luke decided he needed a hot drink and some breakfast. Maybe afterwards he’d feel better.

Heading for the huge cantina where food was served at all times, he made his way down the corridor slowly, only marginally aware of his surroundings – until a sneering voice cut into his brooding.

"Long night, Luke?"

Turning, Luke glared at the other man. He didn’t feel up to a fight, but it looked like Han was spoiling for one. "Leave me alone, Han," he snapped, intending to just brush past the other man.

A strong hand closed around his arm and stopped him. Too weary to resist, Luke allowed Han to pull him close until their bodies were almost touching. And only then did he notice the dark shadows under Han’s eyes, the matted hair, the clothes that looked like they’d been slept in, and he smelled a faint trace of alcohol on Han’s breath. Han seemed sober, but then he never appeared drunk even when he was, and he clearly had been drinking.

"What do you want?" Luke asked tiredly.

He was shoved against the wall, and the Corellian placed both hands on either side of him, imprisoning Luke in the circle of his arms. Defiantly, Luke met the taller man’s eyes and wondered, with growing irritation, what Han wanted.

The Corellian’s face softened slightly and he shifted his weight, one hand feathering across Luke’s face until his fingertips brushed Luke’s lips. A rare tenderness showed in his eyes – like the first time they’d made love – as if he was afraid of hurting Luke. Han’s sudden lenience confused and almost frightened Luke, and he clung to his anger. He had every right to be furious at Han for what he’d done, but it was hard to remember that when Han looked at him that way.

Han’s face drew nearer until lips brushed over Luke’s mouth gently, the merest touch. "Don’t do this to me, kid," the Corellian murmured and kissed him again, fierce and passionate this time.

The seductive, expert caress rendered Luke helpless, and his body responded to Han’s touch before his mind could, but then, with an effort, he wrenched away. "Han..." His voice sounded strangled. Gods help him, he wanted this – but he couldn’t relent, could he? "Don’t do what to you, Han?" Luke snapped, abruptly furious again, at Han and at himself for being so weak, for almost giving in. He glared up at the older man, but Han’s eyes were fixed on his lips as he gently traced them with his fingertips.

"I’d give my life for you, Luke. Isn’t that enough?" Han sounded almost desperate.

Luke felt his heart stop briefly and then give a lurch. Han had proved his readiness to lay down his life for him when he turned back at Yavin Four, but it was the note of desperation in his voice that got to him. Again, Luke wondered whether Leia’s guesses were correct. What was he to do? Give in? Refuse?

Apparently encouraged by his indecision, Han leaned down and stole another kiss before asking, "Got anything planned?"

Luke shook his head, trembling from the kiss. "No."

A fleeting, bright grin appeared on Han’s drawn features. "Okay, let’s go to bed."

Enraged, Luke drew back. He should have known better. "An easy lay, that’s all you see in me, is it? Well, you’re wrong." He tried to push Han away, but the Corellian refused to move.

A mixture of surprise and anger at Luke’s resistance fled across his face, but then his expression softened again. "An easy lay? You think finding somebody who’s willing’d give me any trouble? It’s you I want, Luke... you that I just can’t forget."

Luke felt torn, his body demanding one thing, his mind recommending another. He studied the taller man closely. Han looked sincere but how could he trust him?

"Han – I..."

"All right. Tell me you don’t want me, that you prefer those new friends of yours, and I’ll leave you alone," Han said in a harsh tone.

Privately, Luke admitted there wasn’t any way he could say that. He wanted Han, there was no denying it. Longed for him, loved him, hated him, desired him. Who’d ever claimed that love was easy?

Resigning, he shook his head and kissed Han briefly on the mouth. "Your bed or mine?"

Han’s brilliant smile lifted his heart, and he knew there were legions of other things he’d be willing to do just to see Han smile at him like that.

"Definitely mine." The older man wrapped an arm around Luke’s shoulders and steered him in the direction of the base’s hangar. Although he’d been assigned sleeping quarters like the rest of the pilots, Han preferred his cabin aboard the Falcon.

As they crossed the hangar, Luke noticed Aahna who was on the early morning shift. Surprise showed in her eyes when she saw them together, and her face darkened briefly, but then she smiled dryly and nodded at Luke before turning back to her work.

For a flaring moment Luke felt guilty – though one look at Han was enough to chase the thought.

 

They boarded the Falcon, and Han led him towards his quarters. Even though Luke had been on board quite often, he’d never visited Han’s cabin before and looked around curiously. The room reflected its occupant’s chaotic inclinations, but the general disarray rendered it comfortable at the same time, and the bed, covered in colorful sheets, surely looked inviting.

Han drew him into a firm embrace that Luke returned, abandoning himself to the thorough kiss until the other man released him. "If I remember correctly, we never got around to finishing your lessons," the Corellian told him huskily. "Get undressed, Luke."

Luke hurried to comply and, while he shed his clothes, dropping them over the single chair in the cabin, watched his lover unbutton his shirts and unzip his pants. Watching Han was something he’d certainly never tire of.

His gaze wandered over the lean body with unveiled admiration when Han stretched out on the bed. Luke needed no further invitation to join him and, slipping into Han’s arms, kissed the other man, a leisurely exploration that kindled the first sparks of excitement in them both.

Luke shoved against the hard body in a slow rhythm, felt Han’s growing arousal that heightened his own while his lover’s hands wandered across his body – caressing, searching and rediscovering all those sensitive spots, creating tingles of intense pleasure.

Reaching down between them, Luke wrapped a hand around both their erections, stroking them. Han moaned, eyes slipping shut as he arched in pleasure. After another moment, he shifted and reached for the night-stand, groping around in one of the drawers. He retrieved a tube and pressed it into Luke’s hand.

"Go ahead ‘n do it, kid," he commanded, but his voice dropped to a husky purr when he added, "Make love to me..."

Luke glanced at the tube, then back at Han, confounded. More than Han’s request, the words he’d chosen surprised him. _Make love to me_? Was that Han’s way of saying–?

"Han, you sure?" he asked hesitantly, even though his body reacted favorably to the idea; a wild surge of lust and love coursed through him, intensifying his excitement.

The Corellian only glared at him. "‘Course I’m sure. Wouldn’t ask otherwise, would I?"

Easily persuaded in spite of a lingering trace of uncertainty, Luke uncapped the tube and squeezed some gel onto his fingers.

"What’s the matter, Luke, don’t you want me?" Han taunted while he shifted and opened his legs to allow Luke easier access.

His fingers were trembling nervously when Luke coated his erection with the gel and then looked at his lover. "I don’t want to hurt you," he explained.

Han shook his head and grinned reassuringly. "Don’t worry, you won’t."

"You’ve done this before," Luke accused while his fingers were busy preparing Han, exploring the tight opening.

The older man groaned. "Yeah. Gods, Luke, get on with it."

Positioning himself carefully, Luke shoved inward – it was tight and hot and the sensations became almost overwhelming. Without being told, he pushed harder instinctively, driving deeper into the hot body, impaling himself until he was all the way in.

Moving slowly at first, Luke soon started to thrust harder and faster. There was no protest from Han who urged him on and pulled him closer.

Spellbound, Luke watched his lover’s face while Han threw his head back and groaned out loud, and his ecstatic expression of total abandon added the final thrill it took to send Luke over the edge as well. Panting, he collapsed on the sweat-slickened body.

"Gods – that was great, kid," Han finally managed, still breathing hard.

"I really wish you’d stop calling me _kid_ ," Luke told him with just a touch of resentment.

Han only gave him a quizzical glance.

"If I’m only a kid, what does that make of _you_?" Luke asked sweetly and had to grin at Han’s puzzled expression.

Basking in their closeness, they lay holding each other peacefully for some time.

Thinking about a shower, Luke began to get up after a while, but Han’s arms tightened around him instantly, and Luke was content to comply, cuddling closer to his lover. Maybe Han would never admit he loved him, but he supposed Leia was right: His actions betrayed his feelings.

* * *


End file.
